Motherhood is exhausting, rewarding, soul-sucking, magical, anxiety-ridden, purpose-giving and inspiring. It's so many emotions muddled into one. Being a mother makes you question everything all while feeling like you know it all...it's a confusing phenomenon. 

 Another word for 'motherhood' is 'superhuman'. Or, at least it feels that way. Your own worries and feelings come second to your childrens and trying to get daily chores, activities, feedings, laundry, cleaning, working and mental sanity organized within a viable routine can be mind blowing craziness. All while trying to keep your sh** together and not losing control of your own temper. Because, of course, we as mothers know how awfully guilty we feel after we loose it. But the harsh reality is, we are only human. Not superhuman.

 Motherhood is a massive boost in self-confidence and strength in yourself. It changes the way you perceive life. Any little doubt you had in yourself gets put on the back burner for your child and before you know it that doubt soon gets forgotten about. Because your child is the centre of your universe. They always come first. You care for them and love them so much you end up becoming their spine of support and put all your focus on ensuring they're happy, healthy and loved. 

 Unfortunately, there is no rule book to parenting. There are self-help books out there but I've never met this so called "text book child". And if this child exists can I please meet him or her?! This child sounds like a dream who listens to everything their parents say and do. It doesn't exist. In my own experience I go with what I feel is right for my children. Motherhood is stressful enough which is why I take my own lead on how I handle my children. I can't be dealing with outside "professional" advice. It actually makes me feel even worse because I know in my heart of hearts as my children's mother that a majority of the advice given to me will NOT work. You know your kids better than anyone else. To add to that, no two children or parent are the same. We are all bespoke. 

 I am at the very beginning of motherhood. I'm yet to experience the tween and teen stages. My friends and family who have older kids love to remind me how the teenage stage is the worst. I can imagine it is hard. By that point as a parent you lose some control over your child and they tend to make decisions for themselves regardless if they're following the rules or not. Teenagers like to push outside the boundaries and test their limits. I know this because I remember being like it myself. Whereas toddlers are challenging because they're little firecracker beings who can explode at any time at anything, anywhere. Highly unpredictable and cry a lot. They literally don't care. It takes a lot of persistence, breathing techniques, self-motivation and coffee to get through a whole day with a toddler...or in my case with two! 

 As an example of unpredictable behaviour, Jack likes to buy time in the evening. He doesn't like going to bed anymore as he would rather stay up and play. We've had to enforce a bedtime so he doesn't get overtired but it can be exhausting for both Adam and I trying to make Jack understand why he has to go to bed. And highly frustrating. Especially, when Adam and I just want to sit down and relax and have our time together. Jack pulls an excuse out of the bag and says he's still hungry. So, after fighting and battling over the foods he can't eat as requested because they're high in sugar such as "sveeps" as Jack calls it (meaning sweets) we finally come to a compromise of milk in a bowl with a spoon. Random but he likes it. But of course, when I serve this up to him he has an ulmitey dramatic melt down because it's not in the bowl he expected. As a mother (and father) we've been sent into anxiety overload because it's not only late but we're also pretty fed up and sick of compromising and battling with a 2 year old every night. By this point we're starting to lose it a bit and before we know it Jack wins. It doesn't always happen, sometimes we stand our ground. In fact, most times we stand our ground but there are nights where it takes it out of us and we cannot be bothered with the fight. It might be seen as the wrong approach but like I said earlier, we're only human! This behaviour happens frequently at this age. It's completely normal but mentally exhausting. I'm confident it will pass. Just like all phases.

 Motherhood with all its highs and lows is by far the most rewarding job in the world. Regardless of the bad days and challenging obstacles I wouldn't change any of it. It's weird because just when you need that break from your child and they go to nursery, within an hour I'm already missing them. How does that even happen?! It's because motherhood does something to us women that is unexplainable. It doesn't always make sense but we know the feelings we feel are strong and unlike anything else.

 Motherhood becomes your natural state. It's a gift that brings deeper meaning to life and it brings out the best and worst in us. You become totally invested in their future that you want the world to be a healthier, better and safer place. The unconditional love is pure bliss and...I just love motherhood!